Autobiography of Generation X

Series Prologue (start here and read each chapter of Juvenile Crimes in order)

I abhor violence.

Violence has dominated my life.

It forged my place in the world before I was ever conceived and set in motion the only true pre-destination any human being ever has beyond death – my own personal struggle to overcome the violence imposed upon me at my birth.

I’m not talking just about the historic violence of human conflict that has evolved since the days of our pre-historical ancestors “Ug” and “Ig” fighting over scraps of meat, or a prized possession, or the right to mate with the chosen female conquest. Or the non-stop refinement of violence and its excuses in the thousands of years since. That history and evolution of violence matters, no doubt to all of us. To my personal horror, I have no shortage of graphicly violent stories to share with you, and I will.

I’m taking you on journeys involving violence of a much more personal sort, too. You’ll come to know the kinds of violence that are instantly inflicted according to one’s “birthright”, the luck of the biological draw. Violence that is as inescapable as its consequences are inevitable. Violence of a kind that hurts worst when inflicted by family, creating mental wounds that will never heal. And the types of soul-crushing violence that can only be caused by intimates.

There is no telling my story without telling of the violence I’ve lived, for there is no telling the story of my generation in the absence of the violence we have shared. Or in the telling of any generation’s story, for that matter.

Violence defines us. It is required of us as participants in Life on Planet Earth. All we sentient beings can do is attempt to minimize our personal involvement in violence upon others and manage the results of the violence done to us. I will show you this truth.

For this is a love story. Several of them, in fact. Oh, sure, you’ll read plenty about love of life, love of family and friends, love of one’s self and selfless love. But all of that amounts to mere greeting card feel-goodness unless you also know the mythical and mystical “True Love”. Romantic, passionate, achingly horny, wet and sloppy-sex kind of love. Ends of the Earth love. The kind of love that most people either never find or are too fearful to act upon…or worse, be able to open themselves up to even feel. Risky, dangerous, invigorating, “forbidden” Romeo and Juliet kind of love. The kind of love that can consume one’s soul as well as one’s heart.

I cannot tell my story without also telling the story of my generation. We occupy a unique slice of history built upon the violence inflicted by our forefathers and the illusions of our own manifest greatness plied into our minds by our churches, our government, our media, and ourselves. I was the poster-boy “true-believer” in most of the propaganda I was fed from the start of a life that has been the discovery of one truth after another, with each truth exposing and laying waste to the preceding lies. Never have I been able to unlearn or obscure from my mind the truth about matters of substance once I have found it, much to my personal and professional cost. And that cost has been dear…

Born from poor farmer stock in the middle of Nowhere, USA, I breezed through the education system to a higher degree. And I went broke doing it. I’ve approached greatness and I’ve tasted great despair. I have been an outcast and a hero; a criminal and a crime fighter. I’ve lived in rural ghettos and urban ghettos, clawing through poverty over and over again just to test new bottoms after being flung on my face once again by Life. You will see my rises to glory and my fallings from grace…Yet I will stand again and be fulfilled anew. You will see the hopeful and desperate cling to Honor as my last flotation device while floating on a sea of political bullshit, institutionalized hypocrisy and personal misery. I have survived to tell you my stories.

This is not a series of books for cowards. I will make you laugh and cry as any worthy author would, I hope. I will take you to places and events most folks who’ve been there can only speak of in hushed tones to their dearest loved ones, if at all. Deeper still, I will turn the spotlight on the scariest place of all to look – the mirror. For if these tales should be construed as my confessions then they must also serve as my righteous condemnation of the system of violence, lies and corruption in which we willfully wallow. These are not cautionary tales…they are the witness I bear, testaments of my times. You will see me, and you will see my peers. You will see that we never stood a chance.

I’m calling this multi-volume work a piece of fiction because I amalgamated many characters and a few events for the sake of clarity and brevity, and I changed most of the names to protect those worthy of anonymity, as well as the innocent. The dead, the guilty, some folks I hold in high esteem, and a few people who have already been publicized elsewhere will be mentioned by name. I have created or changed some locations and settings for the same reasons. In fact, all of the characters in these works have been changed, amalgamated, or invented to the extent that they should all be considered fictional characters, with the exceptions of several family members, honored and/or dead friends, and politicians who play various roles in the telling of my story. The few people actually named can stand on their own feet and deal with it. There is nothing to lose and no more time for me to waste.

You, Dear Reader, shall find your own truth as I lay the search for mine naked before you.

I am Generation X, and this is my Autobiography.

Wesley T. Miller

March 2, 2012